In 1638 William Barriffe wrote his famous drill book, including the script of the elaborate  'Mars Triumph'.  Whilst Barriffe and his friends from the Artillery Garden were practicing the drill,  his wife (Sarah) and her friends were left to make their own amusement - with the suspicion that the nightly drill practices were merely an excuse to visit the taverns of Shoreditch.  Sarah therefore wrote the satirical 'Drill for Linen Aprons' which the wives performed for their husbands on return from the performance of  'Mars'.  The men took the hint and this is why  there was only that single recorded  performance of 'Mars'.  The manuscript of the 'Apron Drill' (originally published by 'Gartrude Dawson on thys first daye of Apryl 1638')  was thought lost until it was rediscovered in 2003 in the Belgian castle of Gaasbeek, propping up the corner of a large wardrobe.  Two members of the Fairfax Battalia, Ruth and Catherine Goodman, recognising the significance of the document, removed and hurriedly transcribed it.  (A consequence was that the wardrobe later fell over and gave another member of Fairfax a case of mild  concussion! - but that is another story.)  The drill was then performed to a private audience of the Battalia, with some rather bemused Belgian and Dutch onlookers. It is to be hoped that the drill will later be performed in England.

The women's display team of the Fairfax battalia prepare to take the field

They are under the command of a sergeant-housemaid.  Her rank is indicated by the 'ladle of doom'
The women are first inspected to ensure all are wearing the correct apparel.
Discipline is strict.
Drill for the vapours
The first drill is to ensure that all of the team are fit to continue (much of 17th century drill has an origin in basic health and safety).  The sergeant is treated first so that she can continue to maintain proper order. 'Prepare to waft'
'Waft'
The rest of the team are then treated in turn.
Basic Drill
The women are first put through their basic postures to ensure that they can handle their aprons correctly and safely.. 'Shoulder your apron'
'Lay down your apron'
'Fold your apron'
'Recover your apron to the advance'
'Assume your apron'
'Combat Apron Drill
More advanced drill follows.  This manouvre is especially useful against errant partners. 'Advance your apron'
'Twist your apron'
'Flail your apron'   (note the look of terror in eyes of soldier to rear of display team)
Emergency linen drill
'Prepare to Blow'
'Blow'
The Retreat
'Extend your apron'
'Fold your apron to an arm's length'
'Throw your apron and withdraw'

photos by Susanne and Kate Atkin

Health Warning: this page is not intended to be treated entirely seriously!  Thanks to the 'Aproneers' for putting on such an hilarious display.

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